We cover topics that matter to grandparents - and parents - such as concrete ways to help new parents, understanding new trends in child care, and meaningful ways to connect the generations. The resources and products we offer foster open communication, encourage healthy boundaries, and equip new grandparents with the tools they need to become a supportive partner to their grandchild's parents. Sign up for our newsletter to find out why grandparenting isn't about spoiling the grandkids anymore. Parents welcome!
Your grandchild wants an uncritical advocate
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Hello, Reader! Last week I shared how important it is to engage with our grandchildren with “kindness, patience and a sense of fun.” (If you missed that email, you can read it here.) Here’s the research conclusion again, with a bit more of what the study found: Overall, the children appreciated time and engagement from their grandparents more than material gifts or expensive treats. The children held normative expectations of what constituted ‘good grandparenting’ with kindness, patience and a sense of fun emerging as being highly meaningful for the children. Those children who reported that their grandparents were disinterested, critical, or overly strict, expressed feelings of disappointment and loss that they did not have a grandparent who conformed to their expectations. Importantly, from the perspective of the child, the uncritical advocate was the type of grandparent that the children would actively seek out for advice and emotional support. University of Hertfordshire, Do Grandparents Matter?, 2009 Grandparents, I can’t overstate the importance of the last sentence of that paragraph. You can set yourself up as the person your grandchildren will go to for advice and emotional support as they grow by being an uncritical advocate. What exactly does it mean to be an “uncritical advocate?” To me, it means making sure they know that you don’t just love them, you love being with them. That you are interested in what they say and do, and you pay attention to their world. That they can’t disappoint you. But it’s not just how you treat them that matters. Whether they see you as a safe person also depends on how they see you treat the people around them. By showing them from an early age that you won’t criticize or overreact, they learn that they can trust you with their true selves. And you show them that through how you react to their parents. (Did you see my recent video on this?) Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you can’t be that person if you live far away. Showing up regularly in their mailbox, remembering details about their friends and interests when you video chat, making visits about connecting—all of these will help you become the person they want in their corner. When they are a teen or young adult facing a tough decision or hard moment, knowing they have you in their corner can make all the difference in their life. This week, show them what that looks like: ask about a friend by name, celebrate something small, or let a minor mess go without comment. These moments are deposits in their trust account for the years ahead. Warm regards, P.S. Writing down what they mean to you is another powerful way to show that you are there for them. Our Grandparent Love Letters templates make it easy to send a monthly reminder that they are the apple of your eye! Thanks for reading! If you found this valuable, please forward it to a friend! DeeDee Moore | Founder, More Than Grand LLC | morethangrand.com |
Calling all new grandparents! (and parents, too!)
We cover topics that matter to grandparents - and parents - such as concrete ways to help new parents, understanding new trends in child care, and meaningful ways to connect the generations. The resources and products we offer foster open communication, encourage healthy boundaries, and equip new grandparents with the tools they need to become a supportive partner to their grandchild's parents. Sign up for our newsletter to find out why grandparenting isn't about spoiling the grandkids anymore. Parents welcome!
The persons hardest to convince they're at the retirement age are children at bedtime. ~ Shannon Fife Each Saturday, we send you a roundup of articles and resources that will help you be a better grandparent. We may receive a commission for purchases made through affiliate links in this email. This is an easy and much appreciated way for you to support More Than Grand! Growing as a Grandparent Today’s the last day to get the Candlelight & Comfort Bundle, a collection of 15+ ebooks,...
Dear Reader, What do you remember about your grandparents’ home? When I think back to my childhood, I remember the smells: eucalyptus trees, furniture polish, and my grandmother’s perfume. I remember the feeling of sinking into the down-filled cushions of the pink velvet couch. I remember the taste of vanilla yogurt and tea with honey. Their house wasn’t cozy, but it always felt like an adventure to be there. So many of our childhood memories revolve around the senses. Our grandchildren’s...
Grandparents can provide continuity and a sense of family tradition to a child’s life. ~ Marianne Waggoner Day Each Saturday, we send you a roundup of articles and resources that will help you be a better grandparent. We may receive a commission for purchases made through affiliate links in this email. This is an easy and much appreciated way for you to support More Than Grand! Growing as a Grandparent DeeDee recently appeared on the podcast Redefining Midlife with Jo Clark. She talks about...