Dear Reader,

I don’t know about you, but when I was a new mom, I had three basic sources of parenting advice: our family doctor, a couple of books, and my mother. That’s where I turned when I wasn’t sure when to start solids, or whether I should worry about the baby’s fever.

Thanks to the internet and social media, your grandchild’s parents have 24/7 access to up-to-date information on how to tackle every parenting choice. Whether it’s advice about breastfeeding, sleeping, discipline, nutrition, car seats, socialization, education or any other subject, there are hundreds of websites and social media accounts to turn to.

And turn they do! Here are the results of a poll I did on Instagram:

15% follow over 20 accounts! That’s over 20 people telling them what to do day in and day out.

This is why, when you offer unsolicited advice, it feels like an intrusion to them. Not only that, but they will usually assume your advice is outdated and unreliable. They aren’t always wrong about that, either!

What to do? Don’t offer advice unless asked. And if you are asked, be careful how you give your advice.

Asking this question first can make all the difference:

“What do you think you should do?”

Starting with this question shows you have confidence in them as a parent. It allows them to think through and share options, or maybe reveal what their underlying concern is. It gives them the chance to develop trust in their intuition.

And it shows you are interested in being part of the conversation.

If it’s clear they want your input, don’t start off with “Have you tried…” Instead, ask, “What have you tried?” Again, this shows you are coming in as a teammate, and not a coach. Same with offering a possible solution: instead of “You should…”, phrase your suggestion as an option that’s worked for someone else: “I read that this works” or “I found it helpful to…”

If you think about giving advice as showing support rather than offering solutions, parents will come to you more often.

My parting advice to you? I find it helpful to follow reputable parenting social media accounts, so I have up-to-date information. That way, if I’m ever asked for advice, I can be confident my suggestions align with modern standards.

Warm regards,
DeeDee

P.S. Don’t forget about New Grandparent Essentials, which provides up-to-date information on the topics that matter most to new parents. Get your copy here!​

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DeeDee Moore | Founder, More Than Grand LLC | morethangrand.com