Dear Reader,

Last week a podcast host asked me a question I loved: “What are your favorite ways to foster family culture and identity as a grandparent?”

I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it in those terms before, but I immediately thought of Donut Friday.

Donut Friday is a highly anticipated part of our annual July family week. It’s nothing more and nothing less than what it sounds like:

We get donuts on Friday. That's it.

But by naming that simple tradition, it elevates it into a ritual that is part of our family identity.

That week in July is another part of our family identity. With all of the commitments and pressures of the year-end holidays, my husband and I decided even before we had grandchildren that the 4^th of July would be the time of year that we asked our children to gather. Not all of them can make it every year, but they all try. I think that’s another aspect of our family culture: knowing that visiting us isn’t an obligation.

And when we are together, we keep things simple. Of course, we usually enjoy celebrating the July 4^th holiday, but other than that I don’t try to plan anything more exciting than dinner at their favorite restaurant and a trip to the petting zoo. We go for walks in the woods, or hang out by the beach, or explore new parks. We play cards and read books together, and I have a big box of craft materials that they can dig into.

It’s the focused time together that’s important to me, and you can’t focus on one another at an amusement park or movie theater. If you are scheduling one activity after another, there’s no time for your aunt to teach you to crochet, or to create a fairy garden in the back of the house. So visit by visit, my grandchildren are learning to value the time we spend together as much as I do.

This was put to the test recently when we had the chance to vacation together. We were in a city new to all of us, and yet we did what we always do: we played cards and explored new parks and hung out at the beach. We were exploring a new place, but we were also reveling in the fact that we got to explore it together. There was no pressure to make our days full of exciting activities, because we were making memories with the simplest things.

Over six years ago, I wrote this Grandparent Vision Statement:

My purpose as a grandparent is:

• To support my own children as parents in whatever way is needed
• To teach my grandchildren to explore the world through books, birds’ nests and travel to other cultures
• To instill the importance of family by conveying how important they are to me

That statement has helped me shape the culture of our family, and it continues to guide me.

Your turn now: What are your favorite ways to foster family culture and identity as a grandparent?
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Warm regards,
DeeDee

P.S. Creating a Grand Vision is one of the parts of New Grandparent Essentials that has the most impact, and can be done at any time in your grandparenting journey. You can find it as a separate section in my shop. ​

DeeDee Moore | Founder, More Than Grand LLC | morethangrand.com

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