Hello, Reader!

If you’ve been here awhile, you know that one of my main messages at More Than Grand is that grandparents need to cut back on giving gifts. I keep harping on the subject because it is the number one complaint that parents share with me—too much stuff, too often, and frequently something they don’t want their child to have. When I post about it on social media, parents often chime in with horror stories, like the grandma who showed up on Christmas morning with three industrial trash bags filled with presents.

So it may seem a bit contradictory that I also make gift suggestions in my Saturday emails, and that I have gift guides on my website. To be honest, I sometimes struggle with this inconsistency. If you’ve wondered how I can justify both telling you not to buy so much and then encouraging you to buy things I recommend, here’s what I’d like to share.

First of all, I don’t ever say grandparents shouldn’t buy gifts at all. Of course we should give our grandchildren presents on holidays and special occasions! But we should make the gifts we give both thoughtful and appropriate. By sharing my suggestions, I hope to help you find the perfect gift for your grandchild. Let’s face it, stores, websites, and catalogs have so much stuff that it’s hard to mentally sort through the junk to find something that will delight your grandchild AND their parents. We too often default to buying the toy with their favorite character, whether it’s something that has any real play value or not.

The gift suggestions I provide are for developmentally-appropriate toys and books that will provide more than just momentary pleasure. Sure, your grandchild will be excited when they open a gift and see it’s a book about their favorite princess. But when it turns out that the story is so basic it’s no fun to read aloud, it’s not a gift that has lasting value. The same goes for most toys based on popular franchises—they just don’t provide the sort of open-ended play that is so important for children.

As peak gift buying season approaches, I encourage you to resist the catalogs and displays at Target, and choose thoughtful, age-appropriate gifts for your grandchildren. The gift guides on my website are a great place to start, but always check with parents to see if they have any requests or strong feelings about what you give. They are the ones who have to live with your gifts, and the life-size stuffed dragon or messy craft kit might cause more resentment than it’s worth.

Warm regards,
DeeDee

P.S. One of the hardest things can be restraining yourself when there are so many enchanting options to buy. If I find things I want to purchase, but I know my grandkids don’t need more things, I donate them to Toys for Tots. It’s a win-win: I get to buy fun things, and a child without indulgent grandparents has a happier holiday.

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DeeDee Moore | Founder, More Than Grand LLC | morethangrand.com