Dear Reader,

I got an email a few days ago from a new grandmother who was struggling with an unexpected dynamic since her granddaughter was born: her younger daughter was jealous of the time she was spending with the baby. Knowing that her mom FaceTimed at a certain time each day, this daughter would routinely call during that time and be upset when she didn’t pick up.

Sibling rivalry doesn’t disappear when our children become adults. When one of your children has a baby, your other children don’t stop needing you. They don’t stop wanting to know that they are important to you. In fact, sometimes they need even more reassurance that you are there for them. They may fear that in becoming a grandparent you’ve given up your role as a parent.

Her younger daughter had recently graduated from college, a time when many young adults are feeling unsure of themselves. When you think about it, it’s not too surprising that she needed to know her mom would be there for her. I suggested to the grandmother that she make regular efforts to show her daughter that she loves her: a random text, a few dollars via Venmo for a fancy coffee, a card in the mail.

I also sent her a copy of a blog post that I wrote in March 2020. It’s no longer on the blog, but I thought I’d share it here in case you sometimes feel torn between the needs of your own children. It’s called “Who Needs Me Most?”, and it shares the way I made a hard decision when my third grandchild was born.
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Click here to read it: Who needs me most.pdf​

Warm regards,
DeeDee

P.S. to the attached post: Shortly after writing that blog post, Covid shut down the world. Two of my three daughters never left after they came home for spring break, and I didn’t meet my granddaughter for five more months!

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DeeDee Moore | Founder, More Than Grand LLC | morethangrand.com

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