Dear Reader,

If you search for “grandparent roles” or “grandparenting styles” on the internet, you are likely taken to an article that list five different styles of grandparenting:

They are:

1. The “formal” grandparents who operate in the background of the lives of their children and grandchildren, but enjoy regular visits.

2. The “fun seeker” grandparents who tap into their inner childto play and entertain their grandchildren.

3. The “surrogate parent” grandparents who have taken on the caretaker role for their grandchildren.

4. The “reservoir of family wisdom” grandparents who act as the head and authority of the family.

5. The “distant” grandparents who play only a small role in the life of their grandchildren, usually only meeting on holidays or other special occasions.

The problem with these classifications? They date from a study of 500 grandparents which was done at the University of Chicago in 1965!

It is hard to apply definitions from another era to society today. Much about family life has changed in the 50+ years since the study was done. The rise of women in the work force, reproductive rights, same-sex marriages and the trend towards marrying later in life have created smaller, more diverse family structures. Grandparents, too, are leading different lives than they did in the 1960s.

Very few grandparents I know would comfortably fit into the “distant”, “formal” or “reservoir of family wisdom” categories—and if they do, they probably aren’t reading this now!

Grandparenting roles in 2026 are far more varied and far less defined. The grandparents in the More Than Grand community are story tellers, memory makers, historians, caretakers, faith builders, mentors, ring masters, role models, moral guides, playmates and partners. The roles we play shift and change as our grandchildren grow and our own lives evolve. As Marianne Waggoner Day says in “Camp Grandma,” the beauty of being a grandparent is that it lacks a well-defined job description. We get to define our roles.

In order to retire the old “roles”, we need new definitions of grandparenting styles. Here are four I’ve come up with:

Delighter The Delighter wants to fill their grandchild’s life with fun. Their inner child revels in having a playmate to experience life’s joys with all over again. They add sprinkles to the morning waffles and rainbow bubbles to the evening bath, and are always ready to get down on the floor and play.

Conductor The Conductor wants their grandchild to grow up with a strong sense of family. They want to pass down their values and the wisdom they’ve acquired through their life. They share stories of their ancestors and gently coach their grandchildren to understand the importance of things like kindness and generosity.

Nurturer Above all else, the Nurturer wants to make sure their grandchild knows they are loved. They may be responsible for caring for their grandchild on a day-to-day basis, or their interactions may be limited by distance or circumstances. Either way, they celebrate their achievements, console them over disappointments, and have a warm hug whenever they need it.

Memory Maker The Memory Maker is determined to create a strong bond that their grandchild will be able to rely on in years to come. They make sure that their moments together count, with both special rituals and chances to experience new things together. They keep track of their grandchildren’s interests and share their own.

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Would you add anything to the list? Please reply with your thoughts—I’d love your help in changing the narrative!

Warm regards,
DeeDee

P.S. What are you wishing I would write about, either in a newsletter or blog post? What do new grandparents need to know more about? Hit reply and let me know!

DeeDee Moore | Founder, More Than Grand LLC | morethangrand.com

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