Hello, Reader!

On one of my Instagram posts about showing up in whatever way you can, a mom commented that her parents measured whether they were showing up well by the number of visits they got. She pointed out that they were counting a metric that was often beyond anyone’s control. But what she said next was revealing:

“The kids don’t measure it that way at all. What my six-year-old actually keeps track of is whether Grandpa remembered the name of the lizard.”

This is such a perfect example of what I try to emphasize: The quality of the time you spend together is far more important than the amount of time. You can see your grandkids every day, but if you don’t pay attention to the things that are important to them, they won’t value that time at all. Or you can see them once a year, and use letters and video chat to show them that you know the name of their favorite stuffed animal and what their favorite book is at the moment. That’s where connection happens.

I shared my tips on being more present with grandchildren on the blog a few years ago, and the advice holds up. If you read it, you’ll see that being present doesn’t mean you need to give your grandchildren your full attention every moment that you are together. In fact, I found out fairly quickly that all that did was exhaust me! But it does mean that making time to give them your undivided attention pays off.

Our grandchildren matter immensely to us, and making sure that they know that should be our highest priority. They don’t judge that by how much time we spend with them. They don’t judge it by how much we spend on them. They don’t judge it by how much we let them get away with when their parents aren’t around.

They judge it by whether you care enough to learn the name of the lizard.

Warm regards,
DeeDee

P.S. If this is your first year as a grandparent, keep an eye out for a free challenge to help make the holiday season stress-free! More next week!

DeeDee Moore | Founder, More Than Grand LLC | morethangrand.com

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