Dear Reader,

The basket of beach towels and sunscreen is still by the door. There’s a stray sock under the couch. The pantry is still stocked with Nutella and rice cakes.

But the people I love are gone.

The days that my house is full of my children and grandchildren are the highlights of my year. But those days are so few, and they always end too soon. The emptiness that surrounds me when they leave is—there’s no other word for it—heavy.

I try to fill it with washing sheets and putting away craft supplies, reorganizing the refrigerator and fishing marbles out of the couch. It works, but only briefly.

The silence weighs me down. There’s no one laughing together, sharing book recommendations, or comparing video game strategies. No one asking for tape, toothpaste, raspberry jam or any of a million other sudden needs. No one needing my help, my time, my lap.

There’s no other word for this feeling: it’s grief. If you are a long-distance grandparent, you know it well.

There’s the vision of how we thought our time as grandparents would play out, and the reality of how they are actually unfolding. Or maybe we always knew it would be like this, but we never realized how hard it would be to actually say the goodbyes and return to our quiet lives. Or maybe we never even get the visits we thought would be a given.

Our friends who live near their grandchildren say, “Oh, at least you have FaceTime!” We politely smile and agree we are fortunate, indeed. We don’t tell them how little that can help sometimes.

It’s not a grief we talk about. It’s not a grief that society recognizes. It’s one that we usually bear alone.

But we don’t have to suffer through it. If you are struggling with the particular grief of being a long-distance grandparent, I want to tell you about something that may help.

I’ve talked many times about The Long Distance Grandparent website as a resource for connecting with your grandchildren who live far away. Recently, Dr. Kerry Byrne published an incredible guide for those of us dealing with the grief of grandparenting from a distance. This guide will help you understand and process the emotions you are feeling with research-based insight, practical advice, and stories from other long-distance grandparents.

If you have ever felt what Kerry calls “the ongoing ache of missing everyday moments, milestones, and in-person time together”, this $15 guide is for you. Learn more about it here.​

Kerry has generously offered me a commission for any sales she receives through this link. If you purchase The LDG Grief Guide, we both thank you for supporting our small businesses!

And if you are lucky enough not to know this sort of grief, please share this email with someone you know who lives at a distance from their grandchildren. They may never have told you that they are grieving, but they very likely are.

Warm regards,
DeeDee

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DeeDee Moore | Founder, More Than Grand LLC | morethangrand.com